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Would you like to transform that ugly coffee table into a priceless work of art that your kids will feud over when you're dead?  Are you a bachelor who scouts the local Goodwill for home furnishings?  Are you a young married couple who inherited an assortment of odds and ends from your style-challenged grandmother?  If so, you may be the perfect candidate for decoupage!

Decoupage is a time-honored craft hailing from 12th-century China.  Once called "a poor man's art," decoupage is relatively cheap, although fine ladies like Marie Antoinette and Madame Pompadour were famous decoupers.  Decoupage is easy, but it can be rather time consuming.  However, when you see how fun it is to alchemize your Wal-Mart bookshelf, it will be worth it.

What you'll need:  

• Something to decoupage:  Furniture, picture frames, trays, boxes, etc.  The more you decoupage, the more decoupageables you will find in your home!
• Paint:  I use the bottles of acrylic paint you find in the craft section of Wal-Mart.  Since it tends to chip and peel, I usually wouldn't recommend acrylic paint for furniture, but since the piece will be sealed with polyurethane later in the process, I've found acrylic paint to be a cheap, mixable and easy-to-use paint.
• Something to decoupage with:  There is a never-ending supply of low-cost sources:  wrapping paper, printouts, greeting cards, you name it.  I just used a tissue box that had a pretty design for the border of one of my projects.  There is a TON of copyright-free pictures and designs from an organization called Dover Pictorial Archives. They have a large selection of charming and fairly inexpensive books on Amazon.com.  These pictures are easily photocopied, so you don't have to cut up your book
• Cutting instrument:  I mostly use an X-acto knife.  Cutting around some of these pictures and designs can take time, but your source material can be as simple or as complicated as you want. I also have a collection of scissors with wild and wacky patterns, and these have come in very handy.
• Glue:  I use slightly diluted school glue, and it's worked great!
• Spreader/Smoother:  I use my fingers to spread the glue onto the surface, as well as to smooth out wrinkles. And that's free, folks!
• Sponges:  I use a damp sponge to clean off excess glue, but it's helpful to have paper towels/rags handy
• Sealant:  Your finished product will have at least seven coats of sealant.  I've always used polyurethane. I really like the satin variety, but the semi-gloss has worked well, too.  I use disposable brushes and gloves when applying the polyurethane.  It's hard to get off your skin, and I never bother with trying to clean off a polyurethane-laden brush, 'cause it's impossible.

There are four steps to decoupaging a piece of furniture:

1.  Sand lightly and paint.

2.  Cut out designs, pictures, etc.

3.  Glue process

4.  Seal.  (7+ coats)

For the last couple of weeks, the McKinney family has been on a journey of despair and exultation. Our little boy guinea pig, Satchmo, stopped eating suddenly one day. We knew immediately something was wrong. Though he doesn't quite have his sister's ferocious, hysterical appetite, he enjoys dining on a delectable repast of all things vegetable. So when he declined that hearty helping of salad, we were immediately seized with a 5-alarm panic attack.

We brought him to the vet, and after he was probed, gassed, endoscoped and X-rayed, our vet noticed that he had a small sore spot under his chin that might be turning into an abscessed tooth. With a few rounds of antibiotics, Satchmo would likely start to feel better and eat again within a couple of days.

Just one problem with that prognosis. Satchmo used his reserve tank of freakish strength to defend himself against the necessary oral injections. And he didn't start to eat again. In fact, his weight was rapidly diminishing. Back to the vet, we procured some Nutri-Cal, which the doctor assured us would temp him with its luscious caramel-like flavor and help him pack on the pounds again. Satchmo was too clever for this, though, and used the "spewing baby" trick on us every time we tried to syringe some of the nasty stuff into his mouth.

Desperation, and back to the vet. The doctor gave us some pain killers (in oral syringes, of course, because we were so accomplished at giving oral injections.) It had been more than a week since this whole thing began, and all Satchmo had managed to eat was a little cucumber here and there and whatever Nutri-Cal we could sneak down his throat. But, thanks to God and the miracle of modern veterinary medicine, the pain killers did the trick! Since Saturday, Satchmo has cleaned his plate every night, and he has started to gain back some of his weight. As an added bonus, the vet gave us some Oxbox Critical Care formula, which Satchmo can't get enough of! He'll be back to roly-poly in no time.

Clay and I have agonized over our sweet little boy's illness. We are physically and emotionally exhausted. And it hasn't been so great for Chandelier, either. Every time we take him out of his cage to doctor him, she is convinced he's being treated to a spa day/kumquat feast. We have been at the vet, calling the vet, or picking some concoction up from the vet's office almost every day. However, we have hung in there, prayed very hard, and finally learned the age-old art of syringe feeding. We hope when Satchmo goes for his check-up this week, his doctor will give him a clean bill of health once and for all!